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  • The Girl I Was Becoming

    Day 50 – I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning and had a strange moment of recognition. Not the superficial kind. Something deeper. Transition is an interesting experience because your body changes gradually over…

  • The Body Remembers

    Day 49 – Trauma does something strange to the body. Even when your mind understands that you’re safe, your nervous system doesn’t always get the memo. Today I felt that. Nothing bad happened. No news. No unexpected events….

  • The Long Winter

    Day 48 – I’ve been thinking about winter again. Not just the season outside the window. The internal one. The kind Katherine May talks about. The periods of life where everything slows down whether you want it to…

  • The World Is Still Beautiful

    Day 47 – Today something reminded me that the world is still beautiful. Which might sound obvious. But when trauma happens, beauty gets harder to notice. Your brain becomes hyper-focused on threat detection. Survival mode. Scanning. Protecting. Beauty…

  • The Architecture of Strength

    Day 46 – I’ve been thinking a lot about strength lately. The version of strength people usually talk about is loud. Fighting. Winning. Standing tall in the middle of a storm. But that’s not the kind of strength…

  • The First Flicker of Anger

    Day 45 – Something new showed up today. Not fear. Not sadness. Anger. And before anyone panics about that word, let me explain. It wasn’t the chaotic, volcanic rage that shows up when trauma is fresh. I’ve already…

  • A Slow Tuesday

    Day 44 – Today was uneventful in the best possible way. Coffee in the morning. A few emails. Roger attempting to negotiate additional treats using what can only be described as emotional manipulation. Somewhere in the middle of…

  • The Fear Layer

    Day 43 – There’s a quiet layer of fear that sits under everything now. Not loud fear. Not panic. The background kind. The kind that runs silently beneath your thoughts like an operating system. Should I go out…

  • A Quiet Question

    Day 42 – Something interesting happened today. Nothing dramatic externally. No phone calls. No news. No emotional earthquakes. But internally a quiet question showed up. I was sitting on the couch this afternoon watching Roger conduct a very…

  • Fresh Air

    Day 41 – Today I left the apartment for a longer walk. It doesn’t sound like much. But after the year I’ve had, sometimes the simplest acts carry the most weight. Fresh air felt good. The cold January…