{"id":1693,"date":"2026-03-20T13:31:00","date_gmt":"2026-03-20T13:31:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wildpoise.com\/?p=1693"},"modified":"2026-05-07T00:46:05","modified_gmt":"2026-05-07T00:46:05","slug":"the-quietest-new-year","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wildpoise.com\/?p=1693","title":{"rendered":"The Quietest New Year"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
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The Quietest New Year<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Day 39 – January 1, 2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The first morning of the new year arrived very quietly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No fireworks. No profound revelation waiting for me by the coffee maker. No cinematic sense that life had suddenly turned a page and handed me a cleaner, shinier chapter with better lighting and a more cooperative nervous system.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just sunlight through the window and Roger standing beside the bed staring at me like a sixty-pound alarm clock with opinions and absolutely no respect for my emotional pacing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Apparently the new year still includes breakfast. Rude, but fair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I made coffee slowly this morning. The good kind. The kind where you don\u2019t rush the process because the process is half the point. Water heating. Grounds blooming. That first smell filling the kitchen before your mind has fully agreed to rejoin your body. There\u2019s something deeply civilizing about coffee when life has been uncivilized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Outside, the neighborhood felt softer than usual.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

January mornings have a particular kind of stillness to them. The cold air makes everything quieter. Even the traffic sounds less committed. The whole world feels slightly padded, like reality hasn\u2019t fully laced up its boots yet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For a little while I stood by the window holding my mug and watching the world ease itself into another year. And it felt strange. Not because the date changed. Dates are just numbers wearing confidence. But because I know how dramatically my own life changed over the last couple of years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had no idea what was coming.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No idea what would be taken from me. No idea how much violence one year could hold. No idea how thoroughly a person\u2019s sense of safety could be cracked open and rearranged. I knew my sense of safety had already been ripped apart in late 2024, but I had no clue what 2025 would bring after that. No clue that I would spend so much of the year learning how to exist again after something cruel changed the direction of my life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No clue that survival would become such intimate work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s the part no one really tells you. Survival is not always dramatic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes it\u2019s ugly, yes. Sometimes it\u2019s terrifying. Sometimes it feels like clawing your way through broken glass with lipstick on because for some reason dignity still matters to you even when the universe is behaving like a psychopath. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But most of the time, survival is quieter than people think. It\u2019s making coffee. It\u2019s opening the blinds. It\u2019s noticing frost on the edges of the windows. It\u2019s answering life when life keeps knocking even after you\u2019ve changed the locks emotionally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s what hit me this morning. Despite everything, I\u2019m still here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Still capable of feeling sunlight on my face. Still capable of noticing beauty in small things. Still capable of moving through a quiet morning without immediately handing the whole thing over to fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That matters. Maybe more than I know yet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because there were so many moments in the past year when the future felt like something abstract. Something distant. Something other people got to have while I was busy relearning how to live inside my own body without bracing for impact.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And yet here I am.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not fixed. Not magically remade by the calendar. Not naive enough to think January 1st comes with reset powers and a warranty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And maybe that is its own kind of miracle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Roger, for his part, seems very confident that 2026 will involve snacks, walks, naps in strategic patches of sunlight, and whatever deeply suspicious activity the squirrels are clearly planning in the yard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Honestly, that feels like a solid manifesto.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The new year did not fix anything. It did not sweep in and lovingly organize my trauma into inspirational lessons. It did not hand me closure in a silk box. It did not erase the damage or soften the truth or suddenly make the world feel simple again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But it did arrive. And I\u2019m here to meet it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A little changed. A little sharper. A little more awake than I used to be. Still standing. Still writing. Still alive enough to notice the light.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That feels like enough for one morning. Maybe more than enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Chaos in one hand. Grace in the other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And the first day of the year unfolding quietly between them, while I stand here in the middle of both, coffee in hand, not disappearing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Day 39 – The first morning of the new year arrived very quietly. No fireworks. No big epiphanies waiting by the coffee maker. No dramatic cinematic feeling like life had suddenly shifted into a new chapter. 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