{"id":1853,"date":"2026-04-01T00:05:00","date_gmt":"2026-04-01T00:05:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wildpoise.com\/?p=1853"},"modified":"2026-05-14T00:15:24","modified_gmt":"2026-05-14T00:15:24","slug":"curiosity-wins-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wildpoise.com\/?p=1853","title":{"rendered":"Curiosity Wins Again"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Curiosity Wins Again<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Day 86 – February 17, 2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Curiosity has always been one of the strongest forces in my personality. Honestly, one of the most dangerous too. Not dangerous in the sloppy sense. I\u2019m not out here freebasing bad decisions in leather boots just because a thought looked interesting from across the room. I mean dangerous in the way curiosity destabilizes the obvious. It asks one question too many. It notices the seam in the wallpaper and starts peeling. It refuses to leave a room exactly as it found it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s me. Or at least, that\u2019s one of the most essential parts of me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And after everything that happened last year, after the violence and the fear and the long ugly labor of trying to drag my nervous system back toward something resembling peace, I\u2019m strangely moved to realize that curiosity did not die.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It got buried for a while sure. Trauma had other priorities. Survival mode is not exactly a playground for playful inquiry. When your brain is busy scanning for danger it\u2019s not usually also wondering about the hidden architecture of human behavior or the tension between fate and bad timing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But lately, curiosity has been taking its space back. And I can feel it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Today I found myself thinking about the strange complexity of life again. The way people\u2019s paths intersect. The way one random moment can split a whole existence in half. The way a sentence, a meeting, a glance, a timing error, a choice, a cruelty, a kindness, any of it, can alter the direction of a life so completely that the before and after barely seem to belong to the same woman. That fascinates me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So does resilience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not the bumper sticker version. Not the inspirational quote version written by someone who has never had to rebuild a self from blood, nerves, paperwork, and a dog who insists every emotional breakthrough should be followed by a snack.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I mean the real version.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The kind that shows up in places you would never expect. The kind that lives in the fact that people can survive things that should have hollowed them out completely and still somehow remain funny. Or curious. Or sexy. Or difficult. Or interested in the world. Or all of the above, which feels much more on brand for me. That\u2019s the part that gets me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That after everything, I am still interested.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In people. In patterns. In why we become what we become. In why some people go numb and others get sharper. In why some leave the fire quieter and others leave it looking the world directly in the face like well, now I know too much to be pleasant all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That feels like its own kind of resurrection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because curiosity is not just a personality trait for me. It is how I stay alive inside my own life. It is how I resist becoming flattened by pain. It is how I flirt with existence. It is how I make meaning, make beauty, make trouble, make art, make sense, and occasionally make people deeply uncomfortable without raising my voice. A gift really.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Roger, for his part, spent part of the day studying something invisible with the intensity of a detective who had just discovered the concept of mystery and taken it personally. His commitment to inquiry remains flawless. Same, babe. That\u2019s how I feel too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because the return of curiosity means more than \u201cI\u2019m feeling better.\u201d It means my inner life is no longer fully occupied by fear. It means wonder is finding room again. It means my mind is widening, reaching, making connections, wanting more than just safety and quiet and enough stability to pass for functioning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It means I\u2019m becoming interesting to myself again. And for a woman like me, that is when things start happening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Chaos in one hand. Grace in the other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And curiosity winning space back again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Day 86 – Curiosity has always been one of the strongest forces in my personality. Even after everything that happened last year, it refuses to disappear. 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