{"id":1863,"date":"2026-04-02T00:05:00","date_gmt":"2026-04-02T00:05:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wildpoise.com\/?p=1863"},"modified":"2026-05-14T23:25:27","modified_gmt":"2026-05-14T23:25:27","slug":"the-art-of-not-explaining-myself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wildpoise.com\/?p=1863","title":{"rendered":"The Art of Not Explaining Myself"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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The Art of Not Explaining Myself<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Day 96 – February 27, 2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Something I\u2019ve been practicing lately is the art of not explaining myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which sounds simple until you realize how much of womanhood is basically one long unpaid internship in making yourself understandable to people who have no real intention of understanding you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why did you do that? Why are you like this? Why that boundary? Why that choice? Why now? Why not? Can you make your whole interior life easier to digest before I decide whether I approve?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Exhausting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And for a long time I played along more than I should have. Not because I owed anyone an explanation. Because I had been trained to believe that clarity, kindness, and emotional intelligence meant translation. That if I could just explain myself well enough, carefully enough, prettily enough, other people would meet me in good faith.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Adorable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some people are committed to misunderstanding you no matter how beautifully you phrase the sentence. Others are not asking for clarity at all. They\u2019re asking for access, compliance, leverage, reassurance, or a chance to put your life on trial so they can feel more comfortable in theirs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That realization has been weirdly liberating. Because explanations are not always necessary. In fact, sometimes they are a trap. Sometimes explaining yourself is just handing your power to someone who has already decided your reality is negotiable. Sometimes it\u2019s turning your own truth into a debate when it should have remained a fact.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am becoming less available for that. And I like myself this way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman I\u2019m becoming is not interested in arguing for her own existence. She is not interested in auditioning her boundaries or packaging her decisions in emotionally decorative language so everyone in the room can feel accommodated. She exists. She chooses. She notices. She knows what she knows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That is the explanation. There is something almost indecently freeing about that. Not because I\u2019m becoming cold or careless. I still care deeply. Still think too much. Still explain things in my own head like I\u2019m presenting evidence in a very chic trial no one asked for. I\u2019m still me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I no longer feel obligated to drag every private knowing into public language just because someone else feels uncomfortable when a woman acts on instinct without writing a five page thesis and offering footnotes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes \u201cno\u201d is complete. Sometimes \u201cbecause I said so\u201d is spiritually correct. Sometimes the most elegant thing a woman can do is close the door softly and leave people outside it with their questions and no access code.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That too is art.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if I\u2019m being honest, there\u2019s a certain pleasure in it. A certain dangerous little thrill in realizing I do not owe everyone a guided tour of my reasoning. That some people can simply experience the consequence of my clarity without getting the annotated director\u2019s commentary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Beautiful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Roger, of course, lives entirely by this philosophy. He does not explain why he suddenly needs to stand in the exact center of the room or why socks are apparently political. He simply acts with full conviction and lets the rest of us adjust. An icon, truly. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m learning from him. Or maybe I\u2019m finally learning from myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because I\u2019ve always known more quickly than I admitted. I\u2019ve always had instincts faster than my explanations. I\u2019ve always had that split second of certainty before my nicer, more diplomatic, more socially edited self showed up and said, \u201cOkay, but how do we phrase this so no one thinks we\u2019re difficult?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m less interested in that now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Difficult is often just what people call women who decline to over-translate. Fine. Call me difficult, then. I\u2019ll be over here being correct in peace.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Chaos in one hand. Grace in the other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And the quiet power of no longer explaining myself to people who were never entitled to the full map in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Day 96 – Something I\u2019ve been practicing lately is the art of not explaining myself. Which sounds simple. But if you\u2019re someone who has spent years trying to be understood, it can feel almost rebellious. 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