{"id":2007,"date":"2026-04-03T02:37:00","date_gmt":"2026-04-03T02:37:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wildpoise.com\/?p=2007"},"modified":"2026-05-15T20:22:54","modified_gmt":"2026-05-15T20:22:54","slug":"i-still-want-beautiful-things","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wildpoise.com\/?p=2007","title":{"rendered":"I still want beautiful things"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I still want beautiful things<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Day 112 – March 15, 2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I still want beautiful things. That feels worth saying out loud.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because after trauma, there\u2019s this strange pressure, internal, external, cultural, whatever, to become practical in a way that borders on emotional beige. As if once life has shown you its teeth, you should quietly retire all appetite and become a woman of sensible shoes, smaller wants, and low expectations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Absolutely not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I still want beautiful things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Beautiful rooms. Beautiful language. Beautiful moments. Beautiful love. Beautiful truths. Beautiful little flashes of absurdity that make existence feel less like a burden and more like an experience I might still know how to seduce into being worth the trouble.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That desire did not disappear. If anything, it got sharper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because once you\u2019ve seen how ugly life can get, beauty stops being decoration. It becomes medicine. Rebellion. A standard. A way of insisting that the worst thing that happened to you will not also be the thing that trains your eye downward forever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No. I want beauty with a pulse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not fake perfection. Not influencer nonsense. Not staged \u201csoft life\u201d content filmed by women whose ring lights have seen more consistency than their inner peace. I mean the real thing. Beauty that feels inhabited. Beauty that has weather in it. Beauty that can survive complexity and still remain beautiful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s what I want my life to feel like too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not easy. Beautiful. There\u2019s a difference.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Easy is often shallow. Beauty can hold contradiction. It can hold grief and wit and elegance and nerve and joy and rage and still somehow remain coherent. Maybe that\u2019s why I\u2019m drawn to it so hard now. Because it feels like the closest thing to emotional truth I know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A beautiful thing does not mean an untouched thing. Sometimes it means a thing that stayed. A woman that stayed. A softness that stayed. A desire that stayed. A sense of humor that stayed even when life was being objectively obscene.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Roger remains a deeply unserious little reminder that beauty and ridiculousness are not, in fact, enemies. Today he managed to look heartbreakingly adorable while doing something so goofy it almost felt conceptual. Again, range.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that may be the mood of my whole life at this point. Beauty and absurdity holding hands in public. Grace and chaos sharing a lease. Tenderness with enough edge to protect itself. A woman who has lived through something real and still wants the room to feel lovely, the sentence to land right, the morning coffee to taste like something worth waking up for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I do. I still want beautiful things. And I no longer think that makes me naive. I think it makes me alive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Chaos in one hand. Grace in the other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And me, still reaching for beauty like it has always been one of the most intelligent things about me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Day 112 – I still want beautiful things. That feels worth saying out loud. Because after trauma, there\u2019s this strange pressure, internal, external, cultural, whatever, to become practical in a way that borders on emotional beige. As if once life has shown you its teeth, you should quietly retire all appetite and become a woman of sensible shoes, smaller wants, and low expectations.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":602,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2007","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-chaos-and-grace"],"blocksy_meta":[],"yoast_head":"\nI still want beautiful things - Wild Poise<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A raw, reflective entry journal entry - honest thoughts on healing, resilience, uncertainty, and rebuilding life one day at a time.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/wildpoise.com\/?p=2007\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I still want beautiful things - 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