{"id":2197,"date":"2026-05-09T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-05-09T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wildpoise.com\/?p=2197"},"modified":"2026-05-19T01:22:49","modified_gmt":"2026-05-19T01:22:49","slug":"2026-05-09-hurt-feelings-and-better-instincts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wildpoise.com\/?p=2197","title":{"rendered":"Hurt Feelings and Better Instincts"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
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Hurt Feelings and Better Instinct<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Day 167 – May 9, 2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hurt feelings feel different these days.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s what hit me today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not smaller. Not less real. Not less sharp.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

More present. More immediate. Clearer somehow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Like the feeling arrives faster now, with less static around it. Less distortion. Less denial. It just shows up, fully dressed, looking me directly in the face like, well, are we doing this or not?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I think part of what\u2019s changed is that I no longer confuse intensity with instruction the way I used to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That feels important.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because yes, I got hurt today. The kind of hurt that lands fast and heavy. The kind that makes your chest tighten and your thoughts start moving a little too quickly and your mouth begin drafting speeches it has no business delivering in their first form.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The kind of hurt that, in another era of my life, might have spun out differently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not because I was less intelligent. Because I was less clear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, I can feel the emotion hit hard and still understand, somewhere underneath the initial blood rush, that hurt is not automatically a call to wreckage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That is new. Or at least newer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because let\u2019s be honest. Feelings are loud. Hurt feelings especially. They\u2019re dramatic little bitches. They arrive acting like the whole city should stop and gather around while they make their case in full theatrical lighting, and if you\u2019re not careful, they will absolutely try to recruit your entire nervous system into becoming their legal team.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Today I felt that start.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The sting. The emotion. The tears. The little flash of venom. That specific internal voice that says, oh, you want pain? Cute. Let me show you what I can do with language.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I know her very well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And for a few moments, she was right there. But then something else happened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I stepped back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I breathed. I stopped. I tore the feeling apart a little.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not in the cold way. Not in the \u201cshut it down\u201d way. In the curious way. In the way that asks: What exactly is this? What got touched? Why does it hurt like this? What is the actual wound under the first reaction? What needs to be communicated? What belongs to the other person, and what belongs to me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That changed everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because once I stepped back, I realized something very plain and very powerful. Nothing will ever be worse than what I\u2019ve already been through. That does not mean smaller hurts don\u2019t matter. They do. I\u2019m not interested in becoming one of those emotionally constipated women who act like anything less than catastrophe is beneath acknowledgment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No. Pain is pain. Hurt matters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But hurt feelings, even bad ones, are not a reason to cause wreckage. That feels like one of the clearest truths I have right now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They are not a reason to spiral. Not a reason to scorch the room. Not a reason to let the first most venomous version of the feeling become the final version of the conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They are an opportunity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And yes, I know how annoying that sounds, but I mean it in the least self help way possible. Hurt feelings are an opportunity to understand more about myself. About what still bruises. About what I need. About where my edges are. About how to communicate more honestly with the people I love instead of just bleeding in their general direction and calling it authenticity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s not growth for the sake of a cute lesson. That\u2019s survival developing maturity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And it matters to me because it means I\u2019m not just reacting from pain anymore. I\u2019m learning how to feel it fully without immediately letting it drive the car off a bridge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s a very different life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Roger, naturally, has no such filter. If his feelings are hurt, the whole room knows immediately. There will be sighing. There will be repositioning. There may be a dramatic turning away of the head that suggests I have deeply betrayed the constitution of the household.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s compelling, honestly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I am trying to be slightly more evolved than my pit bull, at least in this category.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Barely. But still.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So yes, today there were tears. Yes, there was emotion. Yes, for a few moments there was a little venom in the bloodstream.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But then there was clarity too. And that\u2019s what I want to remember.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not that I felt less. That I felt more cleanly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That I did not collapse into it. That I did not make it everyone else\u2019s debris field.
That I let the feeling teach me something without letting it become a weapon first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That is not nothing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That is a woman becoming more dangerous in the best possible way \u2014 not because she lashes out more, but because she knows herself faster.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Chaos in one hand. Grace in the other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And me, feeling deeply, thinking clearly, and no longer confusing pain with permission to destroy everything in reach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Day 167 – That\u2019s what hit me today. Not smaller. Not less real. Not less sharp. Just different. More present. More immediate. Clearer somehow. Like the feeling arrives faster now, with less static around it. Less distortion. Le…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":452,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2197","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-chaos-and-grace"],"blocksy_meta":[],"yoast_head":"\nHurt Feelings and Better Instincts - Wild Poise<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A raw, reflective entry journal entry - honest thoughts on healing, resilience, uncertainty, and rebuilding life one day at a time.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/wildpoise.com\/?p=2197\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Hurt Feelings and Better Instincts - 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