{"id":2242,"date":"2026-04-03T02:38:00","date_gmt":"2026-04-03T02:38:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wildpoise.com\/?p=2242"},"modified":"2026-05-15T20:46:24","modified_gmt":"2026-05-15T20:46:24","slug":"a-girl-reassembled","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wildpoise.com\/?p=2242","title":{"rendered":"A Girl, Reassembled"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

A Girl, Reassembled<\/strong>
Day 113 – March 16, 2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s something strange about becoming yourself after life has already tried to interrupt the process. Not stop it entirely. Just put its filthy little hands all over it. Complicate it. Humiliate it. Make something intimate feel unsafe. Make something beautiful feel expensive. Make something that should have been tender and personal feel like it now has crime scene tape in the background.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s what I was thinking about today. How weird it is to be a girl reassembled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not rebuilt from scratch. Not reborn. Not transformed in some clean cinematic way where I emerge from smoke in better lipstick and everyone immediately understands the symbolism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No. Reassembled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Piece by piece. Truth by truth. Softness returned here, confidence returned there, beauty reclaimed in one place, trust still fractured in another. A woman putting herself back together while still fully aware of exactly what tried to come along and scatter the whole thing across the floor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s more honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because I don\u2019t think enough people talk about how nonlinear becoming is after something bad happens to you. The world loves a polished arc. It loves a comeback. It loves a woman who can tell a neat story about pain and then pose beside it like she personally curated the lesson.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That is not what this has been.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This has been messier. Smarter. Uglier in places. And, if I\u2019m being honest, far more impressive than any neat little transformation narrative people could digest in one sitting. Because what I\u2019ve done is not \u201cbounce back.\u201d I hate that phrase. It sounds like women are rubber and suffering is just a test of elasticity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No. I have had to reassemble myself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The womanhood. The body. The trust. The private relationship to beauty. The ability to feel desirable without feeling endangered. The ability to look in the mirror and not just see what happened, but also see the woman who is still standing there in defiance of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That takes work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That takes rage. That takes taste. That takes humor, frankly, because without humor I would probably already be living in a decorative cave somewhere, speaking only in venom and very expensive metaphors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And maybe that\u2019s part of what I noticed today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not just that I\u2019m still here. But that I\u2019m still assembling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Still choosing what stays. Still deciding which parts of me get to lead. Still bringing the softness back online without letting it become stupidity. Still letting beauty belong to me instead of to the gaze of whoever happens to be looking. Still letting the woman take shape in ways that feel more and more like authorship and less and less like apology.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That matters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Especially because transition itself is already such an act of assembly. You are not inventing yourself out of nowhere. You are gathering what was always true and giving it body, shape, language, line, ritual, presentation, courage, and life. You are saying this, this is mine. This is me. This is the woman. This is the actual arrangement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then to have violence enter that process?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s unforgivable. It still makes me furious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because there is something especially obscene about finally stepping more fully into yourself and then having harm try to rewrite your relationship to your own becoming. Try to stain it. Try to make your body feel less like yours just as you were finally learning how deeply it was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That should have never happened. And still. She\u2019s here. The woman is here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not untouched. Not simplified. Not reduced to \u201cbefore\u201d and \u201cafter\u201d like a badly designed ad campaign for resilience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She is here in pieces, yes. But chosen pieces. Placed with more intention. Held with more truth. Sharper in the right places. More exact. More difficult to fool. More alive. More woman, not less.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That gets me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because some days I think the most radical thing I\u2019ve done is not survive. It\u2019s continue assembling myself beautifully after all of that. Continue choosing elegance without passivity. Continue choosing softness without surrender. Continue choosing truth without flattening myself into a moral lesson for anyone else\u2019s comfort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That is bad bitch behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Quiet bad bitch behavior. The kind with better posture. The kind that doesn\u2019t need to announce itself because the whole atmosphere changes when she\u2019s fully in the room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Roger, of course, has never had to reassemble anything except perhaps the emotional dignity he loses every time he gets too excited and nearly wipes out on the floor chasing his own joy. He remains beautifully whole, deeply convinced of his own importance, and committed to loving me like I am the sun and the government. As he should.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And maybe that\u2019s the mood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not finished. Not healed in the corny way. Not tied up with a bow. Just here. Gathered. Placed. Chosen. A girl, reassembled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Chaos in one hand. Grace in the other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And me, putting myself together in a way that makes what tried to break me look cheap by comparison.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Day 113 – There\u2019s something strange about becoming yourself after life has already tried to interrupt the process. Not stop it entirely. Just put its filthy little hands all over it. Complicate it. Humiliate it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":452,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2242","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-chaos-and-grace"],"blocksy_meta":[],"yoast_head":"\nA Girl, Reassembled - Wild Poise<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/wildpoise.com\/?p=2242\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A Girl, Reassembled - Wild Poise\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Day 113 - There\u2019s something strange about becoming yourself after life has already tried to interrupt the process. 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