Day 16 — December 9, 2025 – Today was a fever dream. Not bad. Not dramatic. Just deeply, profoundly feral-brained. I woke up, took one look at my coffee, and my body said, “Nope.” Didn’t finish it. Didn’t even make eye contact with it after the first sip. That alone should’ve been my omen. Like…

Day 15 — December 8, 2025 – Mondays. Bah. Mondays. Fear lived loudly in my mind today. Not in the “hide in the closet with Roger and pray for reincarnation” way (mercifully), but in the awareness way. The reflective way. The kind of fear that doesn’t scream. It just stares back at you, waiting for…

Day 14 — December 7, 2025 – Today was different in a way I can’t neatly explain. I woke up with the same fear and dread that’s been living under my skin for a year. That familiar, heavy, predictable creature. But it didn’t knock me down this time. It didn’t send me back under the…

Day 13 — December 6, 2025 – Today was strangely reflective. The kind of reflective where you catch yourself staring at the wall like you’re in a dramatic indie film, except really you’re just thinking about twelve things at once and none of them are subtle. I’ve been busy. Busy in that “driven by an…

Day 12 — December 5, 2025 – I’m not even sure how to talk about today. It was Friday. That’s about the only neutral fact I have. Everything else felt like a tight, shaking breath I couldn’t release. I still haven’t heard anything. Nothing from the detective. Nothing about the case. Nothing about the man…

Day 11 — December 4, 2025 – Today was difficult in a way I’ve never experienced before. Not because something catastrophic happened, but because I happened. All at once. In too many directions. On emotional frequencies I haven’t learned how to translate yet. I woke up thinking about my relationships. Not abstractly. Not nostalgically. But…

Day 10 — December 3, 2025 – This morning I woke up slower than usual. Not heavy, not panicked, just tired in that bone-deep, soft-focus way that makes you want to tiptoe into the day instead of barging into it. My body felt a little looser than it has in a while, like the emotional…

Day 9 — December 2, 2025 – Today felt like the emotional hum after thunder. That low, vibrating quiet where everything is still rearranging itself inside you. Not dramatic. Not poetic. Just honest. Yesterday carved something out of me, and this morning was the echo of that carving. I woke up heavy in the way…

Day 8 — December 1, 2025 – Today was awful. I’m not coating it in poetry or metaphor or clever phrasing. It was just hard in that bone-deep, chest-tight, pulse-spiking way where your entire body remembers things you didn’t ask it to. I woke up already bracing like my nervous system held a meeting without…

Day 7 — November 30, 2025 – Today felt like the gentlest shift — the kind you almost miss if you blink too hard. Not a breakthrough. Not fireworks. Just a tiny internal click, like some part of me finally remembered how to turn a wheel. Maybe it was the leftover snow softening the world.…

Day 6 — November 29, 2025 – This morning felt different the moment I opened my eyes — not spiritually, not dramatically, but in that subtle, eerie way the world shifts right before snow. That particular hush. That suspended breath the air takes for reasons only the sky understands. And sure enough, when I pulled…

Day 5 — November 28, 2025 – Today is Black Friday, which means the entire world is vibrating like an overstimulated ferret screaming “SALE! BUY! CONSUME!” Meanwhile, I woke up with a very different internal memo: Softness only. No chaos. No crowds. No being hunted down by fluorescent lighting in a department store like I…

Day 4 — November 27, 2025 – Today feels different. Not cinematic-different — the sky didn’t open, an eagle didn’t land on my balcony with a message from the universe, and I didn’t suddenly understand the meaning of life. No. Today is different in that tiny, barely-noticeable, deeply suspicious way… like something inside me finally…

Day 3 — November 26, 2025 – Today is quiet. Not tragic quiet. Not ominous quiet. Just quiet in a way that feels almost suspicious, like my nervous system finally took a nap without sending me a calendar invite. Something in the air shifted. Something in me shifted. It’s like part of my insides softened…

Day 2 — November 25, 2025 – I woke up this morning feeling like I’d been hit by a truck made entirely of emotions. The kind that has no license plate and absolutely fled the scene. Not physically heavy. Spiritually heavy. The specific weight you get when grief and relief sit down together for breakfast…

Day 1 — November 24, 2025 – I woke up this morning already exhausted — not the cute, “I just need a latte and a pep talk” exhausted, but the soul-level tired where your brain starts its monologue before you even open your eyes. Hyperactive mind, exhausted spirit, body just trying to keep up. Honestly?…

And Apparently I’m Just Rolling With It. I didn’t plan to write any of this. Again. Not here, not now, and definitely not in this bizarre timeline where my life keeps tapping me on the shoulder saying, “Hey babe, the silence is looking a little crowded. Maybe do something about that.” So I’m starting where…

So apparently I’m starting a public journal. Which is hilarious, because I can barely commit to finishing a cup of coffee before switching personalities for the day. And yet here I am. Willingly inviting strangers into the labyrinth that is my brain. Bold choice. Brave choice. Chaotic choice. Curiously graceful choice. But something in me.…