Day 240 – I got irrationally irritated today over something completely stupid. And it was wonderful. Not the irritation. That part was annoying. But the fact that my brain had enough room to care. There were months when every emotion seemed to have to pass through the same checkpoint. Is this important? Is this dangerous?…

Day 239 – There are things my body knows before I do. A knock at the door is one of them. Sometimes I can be perfectly fine. Working, reading, watching something stupid, arguing with Roger about whether he has already had enough treats for one lifetime. Then somebody knocks and my entire nervous system launches…

Day 236 – Roger has no idea what he is doing with his life. This does not appear to bother him. He has no five year plan. No quarterly goals. No personal brand strategy. He has never once worried whether his professional trajectory reflects his full potential. Frankly, his LinkedIn is a disaster. And yet…

Day 235 – I have never particularly enjoyed asking for things. This is inconvenient because life requires a shocking amount of it. Ask for the opportunity. Ask for the rate. Ask for help. Ask for clarification. Ask for what you need. Ask somebody to stop doing something. Ask somebody to start. Ask whether there is…

Day 229 – I caught myself feeling like myself today. That sentence looks stupid written down. Who else would I feel like? But anyone who has ever gone through a period where life knocked them sideways probably understands exactly what I mean. There is a version of yourself you recognize without having to inspect her.…

Day 228 – There is a point in every ridiculous idea where it stops being ridiculous enough to feel safe. I think Wild Poise may have reached that point. When something is only an idea, you can imagine anything. Huge audience. Great work. Brilliant collaborations. Money falling gently from the ceiling. Roger appointed Chief Morale…

Day 226 – I have been thinking about how easy it is for the worst thing that happened to a person to become the most interesting thing about them. Not necessarily to themselves. To everyone else. Pain has gravity. People lean toward it. Ask someone about the hardest thing they have survived and suddenly the…

Day 225 – I have spent an embarrassing amount of my life believing I needed somebody else to tell me when something I was doing became real. A job title made it real. A company made it real. A paycheck definitely helped. A person with more authority than me saying, “Yes, you can do this,”…

Day 222 – I have noticed something deeply inconvenient about myself. I am very good at preparing for disaster. I am considerably less practiced at enjoying things when they go well. Bad news arrives and my entire system knows what to do. Analyze. Prepare. Survive. Make contingency plans. Assume crash position. Good news arrives and…

Day 221 – I have been looking at website traffic again. This is dangerous because analytics can turn a perfectly reasonable person into a raccoon staring at a shiny object. Refresh. Refresh. Oh look, number changed. Serotonin. I understand intellectually that pageviews are not the meaning of life. I would still like them to go…