wildpoise

Day 45 - Something new showed up today. Not fear. Not sadness. Anger. And before anyone panics about that word, let me explain. It wasn’t the chaotic, volcanic rage that shows up when trauma is fresh. I’ve already...

Day 44 - Today was uneventful in the best possible way. Coffee in the morning. A few emails. Roger attempting to negotiate additional treats using what can only be described as emotional manipulation. Somewhere in the middle of...

Day 43 - There’s a quiet layer of fear that sits under everything now. Not loud fear. Not panic. The background kind. The kind that runs silently beneath your thoughts like an operating system. Should I go out...

Day 42 - Something interesting happened today. Nothing dramatic externally. No phone calls. No news. No emotional earthquakes. But internally a quiet question showed up. I was sitting on the couch this afternoon watching Roger conduct a very...

Day 41 - Today I left the apartment for a longer walk. It doesn’t sound like much. But after the year I’ve had, sometimes the simplest acts carry the most weight. Fresh air felt good. The cold January...

Day 40 - So apparently the calendar changed. Everyone on the internet is talking about fresh starts and reinvention like January came with a personality upgrade. Meanwhile my nervous system is still buffering. Healing doesn’t follow calendars. Trauma...

Day 39 - The first morning of the new year arrived very quietly. No fireworks. No big epiphanies waiting by the coffee maker. No dramatic cinematic feeling like life had suddenly shifted into a new chapter. Just sunlight...

Day 38 - The world is celebrating tonight. Fireworks somewhere in the distance. People counting down. Champagne corks popping like humanity collectively decided we all deserve a victory lap. Meanwhile I’m sitting on my couch with Roger wondering...

Day 37 - There’s something strange about the last few days of a year. Everyone starts reflecting whether they want to or not. Social media fills up with dramatic captions about transformation and lessons learned and leaving the...

Day 36 - I found myself thinking about the version of me that existed before all of this. Not obsessively. Not in a painful way exactly. Just one of those quiet thoughts that slips into your mind when...