Still Carrying It
Day 25 - Today felt heavier than yesterday. Not in a dramatic way. Nothing spiked. Nothing fell apart. It was more like the cumulative weight of all the days stacked together finally made itself known. The kind of...
wildpoise
Still Continuing
Day 24 - Today didn’t announce itself. No sharp edge. No revelation. No emotional weather event rolling through to give the day a shape. It was just there. Waiting to be lived. Which sounds simple until you realize...
Wintering: When Life Gets Real and Rewrites You
Day 23 - Lately I’ve been thinking about how real life can get. Not in a philosophical armchair way, but in the oh wow, this shit is actually happening to me way. The kind of real that doesn’t wait for you to be ready, doesn’t ask if you’ve built enough emotional scaffolding first. It just arrives. Fully formed. Heavy. Personal. And sometimes I catch myself mid-thought and think, holy shit… I’m really sharing this. Not a curated version. Not the softened, socially acceptable highlights. But the actual terrain. The raw, lived-in truth of it.
Three Weeks Later
Day 22 - Today marks three weeks since I reported what happened to me. I don’t have a big reaction to that sentence. No dramatic swell. No collapse. Just a quiet awareness that settles in my body like a fact I can’t argue with. Three weeks isn’t long. Three weeks is also everything. It’s strange how time behaves after something like that. The days don’t move evenly anymore. Some stretch out like they’re made of taffy. Others vanish completely. I can remember tiny, irrelevant details with terrifying clarity and then lose entire afternoons like they slipped through a crack in the floor.
A Guide to Surviving Dramatic Mondays
Mondays don’t ease in. They enter. They kick the door open wearing business casual, carrying a clipboard, and acting like your entire life is already behind schedule.
You open your eyes and suddenly the world expects you to be motivated, functional, emotionally regulated, ambitious, hydrated, grateful, responsive, and wearing pants with a waistband that doesn’t emotionally disrespect you.
Still Here, Even When I’m Not Interesting
Day 21 - Today I wasn’t insightful. I wasn’t poetic. I didn’t have a revelation waiting politely at the bottom of my coffee cup. I didn’t crack anything open. I didn’t fall apart. I didn’t stitch myself back together in some neat, inspirational way. There was no big feeling demanding airtime, no sharp edge begging to be explored. And honestly? A part of me kept waiting for something to happen just so I’d know what to do with myself.
Cold Enough to Be Quiet
Day 20 - Today was cold. Not dramatic cold. Not romantic movie cold. Just that gray, damp, bone-aware cold that makes the world feel hushed. The kind of quiet snow brings before it decides whether it’s actually going to show up. It reminded me a little of yesterday, honestly. That same suspended feeling where nothing is wrong, but nothing is settled either.
The Dog Knows
My dog, Roger, has zero responsibilities, pays no bills, contributes absolutely nothing to household chores, and still somehow manages to teach me more about life than any human I have ever dated.
He has never had a job. He does not understand mirrors. He does not comprehend taxes, heartbreak, overthinking, screenshots sent to the group chat, or the phrase “just circling back.” He does, however, understand me. Sometimes better than I understand myself.
Friday, Apparently
Day 19 - Today was Friday. Which feels worth noting only because my body noticed it before my brain did. There was no dramatic shift, no emotional crescendo, no “this-changes-everything” moment. Just that subtle loosening in the air that Fridays brings. Like the world collectively exhaled and forgot to tell me what to do next. Structure dissolved. Time got slippery. My thoughts immediately took that as permission to wander unsupervised. Classic.
The Sadness Haze & The News That Didn’t Know How to Feel Good
Day 18 - Today was trying. Not catastrophic, not apocalyptic, just mentally exhausting in that “I’m doing everything right but still feel wrong” kind of way. I was fairly productive. The annoying kind of productive where you get things done but feel like you did nothing at all. But the sadness haze? She’s still here.