wildpoise

Day 135 - I’ve been thinking about what it means to be rooted. Not stuck. Not trapped. Not stationary in that dead, joyless way people sometimes confuse with stability.

Day 134 - I’ve been thinking a lot about acceptance lately. Which is irritating, because acceptance is one of those words people throw around like it’s automatically noble. As if the second you say it, everybody is supposed to imagine peace, serenity, spiritual maturity, maybe a linen...

Day 133 - Apparently it’s Easter. Which is funny, because Easter has always had a slightly unhinged emotional brand identity if you really think about it. Pastels. Eggs. Resurrection. Brunch. Bunnies. New dresses. The whole thing feels like somebody locked symbolism, spring, religion,...

Day 132 - There’s a difference between being seen and being looked at. A massive one, actually.

Day 131 - Two years. That’s what hit me today. Two years of transition. Two years of becoming. Two years of fighting for the woman I already knew I was and then having to learn, in real time, what it means to live as her in a world that is equal parts beauty pageant, crime scene, social experiment, and deeply underfunded psychological circus.

Day 130 - I keep thinking about what “real” actually means. People say it all the time like they know. Be real. Keep it real. I just want something real. And usually what they mean is convenient honesty. Pretty truth. Curated authenticity. Something raw enough to sound impressive but...

Day 129 - April arrived today, and I don’t trust her. That’s probably unfair. She showed up all soft light and longer air and little hints of green like she expected me to just melt into seasonal hope because the trees are finally trying again. Very cute.

Day 128 - The last day of March feels less like an ending and more like a woman standing in a doorway with one hand still on the frame. Not clinging. Not hesitating exactly. Just... noticing. That’s what today felt like. A noticing.

Day 127 - There’s a kind of power in refusal that I don’t think gets enough credit. Not the loud kind. Not the dramatic, grand-exit, throw-a-drink, block-a-number, slam-a-door kind — though obviously that has its place and God bless it.

Day 126 - One of the strangest parts of living through what I’ve lived through is how differently safety feels now. Not abstract safety. Not policy, locks, and logistics — though obviously yes, those matter too. I mean the felt sense of it.